This episode is for a specific person. It’s for the person who is feeling stuck in life or stagnant.
It doesn’t feel good to feel like you are stuck, so if you will allow me, I want to hold space for you right now.
This is my love letter to the person listening to this who is feeling stuck. I’m going to start this episode off a little different than how I usually begin episodes. I want to start by first praying for you. If you’re multitasking, come back real quick. Let’s pray.
God, thank you for the opportunity to pray for everyone listening to this who may be feeling stuck in life. Thank you for trusting me to speak into them during this time. I pray that their ears and hearts are open to receive you and what you have to say through me in this episode.
I thank you that by the end of this episode, they believe and know that not only do you care about them but that you have a purpose and plan for them and this feeling of being stuck is only temporary. Thank you in advance for their victory and for giving them direction.
Feeling Stuck in Life
To be stuck means you are unable to move from a particular position or place, or you are unable to change a situation. If you feel like this, I want you to know that you are not alone.
There was a study done of people in thirteen (13) countries across all professional levels and 80% of them said they have been negatively impacted between 2020 and 2021. One of their common experiences was that they felt a lack of control and they felt stuck.
43% of them reported that they had lost control over their futures. 46% of them reported that they had lost control over their personal lives. And 41% reported they lost control of their careers, 39% reported they had lost control of their relationships.
It didn’t stop there though. 27% of them feel trapped in their routines and 26% of them reported that they feel more lonely than they’ve ever felt before.
None of this feels good and it can impact so many other areas of your life.
There may even be a part of you that believes you have no right to feel the way you do. Because even though you are unfulfilled and unmotivated, you are actually .
But there is better on the other side of this. Not just better, but God’s best. You have to let go of great in order to receive God’s best. Feeling stuck in life does not have to be permanent.
I've Been There...
I get it because I was where you are only a few years ago. In 2017, I made what was at the time a huge career transition. On the heels of a great legal victory, I decided to leave my position as a prosecutor in Miami, FL.
In April of 2016, I tried the most complex and notorious case of my career at the time. It involved forensic evidence and the person I was prosecuting was a celebrity. My trial partner and I were able to secure a conviction. Shortly after that victory, I decided to leave that position and pursue a higher level position with a different agency.
In early 2017, I received a job offer for a position that required me to move to a new state, work in a new area of law, and start a career with a new agency. I was excited about this shift because it was time for me to go for numerous reasons.
For one, the morale was really low at the office where I was. A lot of people had left in a short period of time which put more work on those who remained. We were also being paid pennies as lawyers. There were new lawyers making three times what seasoned lawyers were making in my office. And on top of that, the cost of living was astronomically high in Miami. I was barely staying afloat.
Another reason it was time for me to go was...
…I needed to change the type of law I was practicing. As a prosecutor, I practiced criminal law and had been doing it for four years. When you’ve been practicing a specific area of law for five years plus, it can be difficult to change.
Finally, I had to go because I felt stuck. I didn’t feel like my career could really progress anywhere that I was interested in.
So I thought a new job would fix the issues I was having at my old job and provide some sort of meaning. I don’t know why I thought that but I did. After the first few weeks there, I instantly knew it wouldn’t. I had moved my entire life to a new city where I knew absolutely no one and I was still very much unfulfilled.
On top of that, I was struggling at my new job...
My supervisor at the time, never trained me or provided any training. He basically sat me in my office with a binder and said, “read that.” The only training I received on what I would actually be doing in the role came from one of my coworkers and it was an hour training on one thing. I had to teach myself how to do my job and when I messed up, this man literally rolled up on me at the copy machine and yelled at me for something. He was the type of manager that would point out errors but not teach how to correct them.
Not only did my new job require me to learn a new area of law, but this new area of law is very complex and always changing. I was the cream of the crop at my old job. I did not move over 600 miles away to be subjected to that. That didn’t feel good.
There was no spark.
I wasn’t sad or anything, I just didn’t feel a spark about my job or the organizations where I was serving. So, I think it was around late 2017 when I started to ask God what I was supposed to be doing with my life. Like, what was “my thing.” I knew deep down that there was something more that I was supposed to be doing. I could feel it. You probably can too, which is why you feel stuck. If you were satisfied with where you are in life right now, then you wouldn’t feel stuck.
Here’s what I want you to know: being stuck is not permanent. This is not your reality moving forward. You may be annoyed when you wake up now, but the remaining days that you wake up feeling like this are numbered.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel if you are feeling stuck in life. If you have never heard Travis Greene’s song See the Light, listen to it below.
The reason that I can confidently speak to you about moving forward after feeling stuck in life is because it has happened for me. God doesn’t show favoritism. Ephesians 6:9 says, “And there is no favoritism with him.” Which means that if he did it for me, then he will do it for you.
The shift for me started with getting out of my own way. For much of my life, I made the decisions concerning my life. The only time I consulted God was after I made a decision to do something. Looking back, I basically wanted Him to bless what I was already doing. I didn’t really ask him if I was supposed to be doing it in the first place. In retrospect, I recognize how wild this was lol.
In essence I was saying, “God, I don’t know what you want me to do, but here is what I want to do, so make it work out for me. Thanks!” When I think about this I realize that I could have literally been asking God to help me move further away from him and I wouldn’t even have known it. Thank God for grace though.
But as I was doing the work to get out of my own way, I began to dial more into one of my first loves, which is reading. During this period, I read relentlessly. I did this to not just learn but to be more intentional about creating my own peace and happiness that wasn’t tied to my job title.
I made the decision...
…to get closer to God and become more spiritually intimate. The results of this have been life changing. But, let’s talk about how you can begin to move forward from feeling stuck in life to having a sense of direction.
Here is my advice on how to move forward if you are feeling stuck in life.
Cut back on the fluff
The very first thing I would recommend is to cut out the fluff in your life. Declutter the inconsequential things out of your life. If we’re being honest, and we are, there are a lot of things you do that in the grand scheme of things, don’t mean much to you. I’m not suggesting you cut them off permanently but for the next 3-6 months, take a few steps back. Like all the way back.
I’m sure you’re wondering why I’m suggesting you do this. This quote from Joyce Meyer sums up why. It says:
“We should learn to love solitude and be sure we enjoy it regularly. We don’t hear God very well when our lives are noisy and overly busy.”
Feeling stuck and not knowing what to do next or how to do it, is usually a sign of being lost. Being lost is a type of confusion and God is not the author of confusion. At no point does God want you to feel stuck.
Some of you live very noisy and busy lives. You go from one event to another and from one meeting to another. I know because it used to be me. I refer to this as the “fake busy” period of my life, which is funny because I was really very busy, I just wasn’t busy doing anything of any real importance.
Being busy is a tool of the enemy...
Being busy is a tool of the enemy to keep you consumed by distractions so that you never are in a position to hear God or produce any real fruit. Scripture says that the cares and worries of the world choke the word. To choke means to block, obstruct, and hinder growth. You can’t grow spiritually if you’re busy doing things that don’t facilitate spiritual growth and don’t allow you to really hear what God is saying about your future.
If you’re wondering what I would suggest cutting, I have a couple of recommendations.
The first thing I would recommend you cut are things that come with perceived status or prestige that don’t truly resonate with you. Things that usually fall in this category are organizations and memberships.
Next, I recommend cutting out things that make it look like you’re accomplishing something but they don’t have anything to do with your gifts, skills, or interests.
The goal isn’t to just take a break or stop doing these things. The goal is to take a break and fill that extra time with getting closer to God so that you can hear him. Fill the extra time with prayer, meditation, and reading your Bible. This will help you hear God more clearly about what you should be doing. He is always speaking to you. Your life has just been too noisy to hear him.
The next thing I would recommend is to reflect. Reflect on what matters most to you and why. Reflect on what brings you joy. Then reflect on revelations you receive after you spend time with God. A great way to reflect is through journaling. I am a huge advocate of journaling. It’s restorative and insightful.
Connect with a church
Next, I recommend connecting with a good, Bible teaching church. I’m not recommending you go to church just for the sake of going to church. I’m recommending you go because the teaching, the fellowship, and the discipleship you get at church is an important part of your spiritual growth. Knowledge helps you win. There are so many Believers who never tap into the power, promises, or spiritual realities of God. As a result, they live under constant attack of the enemy, have no direction, and no idea how to win in life. A good Bible-teaching church will fill you with information that helps you walk in the fullness of God. An inspirational message is cool but you need to know how to apply God’s word to your life so that you can win, and a good Bible-teaching church will provide that.
Finding a good Bible-teaching church may take some time and effort. If you have some reservations about church or want to know the relevance of it then I encourage you to check out an episode that I recorded with my pastor titled The Purpose of Church. We discussed church hurt, finding a good church, and the purpose of church. I’ll link to the episode in the show notes
The last thing I would recommend to help you move forward from feeling stuck is to find support. Allow the people around you who you rely on to help you through this time. Invite them in because they may not even know that you are experiencing this.
I would love to support you as you move toward getting past this phase in your life. And yes, it is a phase. It’s temporary. Here is how I can help though: 1) My path to purpose quiz. Discovering your purpose will catapult you into another dimension of living. Purpose is where meaning and direction derive. It’s the answer to the question of how to get unstuck.
The quiz is free and super fun quiz, and more importantly it’s packed with information that will help you Find Your Unique Path to Your Purpose. You can find it over at pavielle.com/purpose-quiz. 2) The second way I can support you is to keep listening to the show. There are over 90 episodes packed full of information about moving forward. Check them out. 3) Finally, sign up for my FREE masterclass, Purpose 101 at pavielle.com/masterclass. I’m teaching you proven strategies that helped me others pursue our purpose.
If you enjoyed this episode about feeling stuck in life, then you may also enjoy the episode of the show about the fear of success and how it hinders purpose or this episode detailing what to expect when operating in your purpose.
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Disclaimer: If you happen to purchase anything I recommend in this or any of my communications, it’s likely I’ll receive some kind of affiliate compensation. Still, I only recommend things that I truly believe in and have personally experienced. If you ever have an issue with anything I recommend, please let me know. My goal is to help you thrive in your purpose. — Pavielle